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Here she is...

My new memoir and third book details the year that I spent working with Dr. Pat Allen, learning how to be more feminine, and all the things that led me to needing such an intervention, and all the things that occurred as a result.

"Most boys’ testicles drop sometime during puberty. My balls dropped early. They grew and grew until they nearly swallowed my life whole."

I was at the end of my rope as an over-ambitious, workaholic, almost-forty-and-still-single woman. A few women had told me that being more feminine was something I needed. Of course my feminist radar cringed, but I was exhausted and willing to try anything. Thank goodness I did. Over the course of the next year, my entire life changed. No area of my life was spared. The changes were unexpected and cascding, and at the end I emerged in a place I had not felt in a very long while...happy.

It is the most authentic expression of my voice yet. It shares with you parts of my life that I have never shared before, in plain and intimate detail, with humility, grace and humor.

"As young feminists we were taught that femininity was the ultimate f-word, the kryptonite of every strong and capable woman. If we got too close to it, our super-human powers might be permanently compromised. I had lived this way for years. I had proven to myself that anything boys could do, I could do better...but something did have to change. I needed a break. Femininity sounded like a vacation from myself."

I am so excited to share it with you. Read the first chapter.

The responses from the first round of preliminary readers has been positive. Here are a few things they said:

“A compellingly personal story that carries the reader through the process of inner healing. It reads like a good novel, but it's so true and real.”

“I don’t know that I've ever read a memoir so honest. Nothing was guarded. That is extremely rare and I found the honesty both fascinating and terrifying.”

“I had no idea there were others out there like me.”

“I just kept going, 'Yes! Yes! Yes!'”

“I was laughing and gasping. ‘This is me! This is me!’”

“damali's life is simultaneously relate-able and foreign, which is really hard to find in a memoir, and something that I definitely appreciated.”

“Hearing 'the girl's' thoughts, on what was going on that night...It's fascinating.”

“I couldn't put it down! I poured through it in a few days.”

The book is currently in final-draft stage. It awaits an editor and publisher. I hope to find the right match for both this project, and for the fullness of my voice as a writer.


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I am looking forward to sharing it with you. In the meantime I will share the process as it unfolds.