"damali had a profound impact on us.
We will be transformed."
-Colby College

  Bring damali to you ~         Learn more ~                      
speaking   the blessings   buy   contact   what's new   about   writing   videos   art   radio   interviews   press  


I have decided to release a .pdf version of the F-word rather than publish it widely. I want it to be of service to people, but also want to maintain some of the privacy that my healing journey created.

If you feel a connection to the book and want to request a copy, please fill out the request form.



A deeply personal and revealing journey through a year when a tricky topic changed nearly everything in my life.

I went on an adventure. I didn't know it was going to be an adventure, I thought I was going to find a date, maybe even a husband. I turned to an unexpected source for help - I went into therapy to become feminine. For a year, a seventy-seven year-old tough-as-nails psychologist pushed me to surrender to the biology of my sex by letting go of the aggressive, know-it-all, do-it-all, controlling, achievement-oriented, woman I had become and learning to be patient, vulnerable, self-loving, and to put my feelings before my need for approval. My skin crawled at the notion. I shared the reservations of most modern women, but I was desperate.

I didn't find a husband. Instead, my entire life was changed, to my surprise, and for the better. By the end of just over a year, I had a new body, a new way of eating, a new sexuality, new relationships with every member of my family, new ancestors, a new racial identity, new friends, a new way of relating to men, a new place to call home, a new vision for my work, and was on my way to discovering a new image of God. Along the way, my mother deteriorates from Alzheimer's, a friend dies, and I manage somehow to end up making out with a police office in the back of my father's car. The story is a fun and revealing romp through all the aspects of a woman's life, with no holds barred, unguarded, and generous.

For some readers this will be a book about femininity. For others it will be a story about family complexities. Within those readers for some it will be about the dance between a little girl, a grown woman and her father, for others it will be about slowly losing a mother to Alzheimer’s, for still some others it will be about sisters. For some it will be a book about self-care and learning how to express feelings. For some it will be about relating to men and learning how to date. For some readers this book will be about struggling with food and dieting addiction. For some it will be about healing from sexual abuse and assault. For others it will be about relying upon God no matter what. For some it will simply be the story of one woman’s journey to find happiness.

It is all those things, and maybe more. I offer my story to you so that you can find whatever you need in it, hopefully a piece of yourself.